[Members Only] When My Armor Cracks
On research, emotional armor, and the moment something slips through
Research can narrow your field of vision in ways that are hard to notice while you’re engrossed in it. Hours pass. The same footage runs again and again. You stop seeing the whole frame and start tracking details, timelines, inconsistencies—things about the specific issue rather than the context.
Writing yesterday’s article was far from the first time I’d experienced that kind of focus. Years ago, while investigating fatal and serious injury crashes involving a roadside guardrail that later became the subject of the ABC 20/20 investigation embedded below, I learned how prolonged exposure to evidence can make you feel like a machine until something touches you. You don’t feel overwhelmed all at once. You feel functional right up until something small breaks through your armor of cold analysis.
That moment came back to me while researching the yesterday’s article. Not because of anything significant to the legal issues—but because of something I almost missed after hours of looking that reminded me that I’m still human. Not just human because I missed something, but because I still felt something. It also reminded me that humans and human stories can make a difference—I’ve experienced it before.
This is a highly personal story that I thought I’d share with those that are supporting Ethan’s work and passion as both a glimpse of myself and a thank you. For all subscribers, please know that you’re making a difference. Every single person that reads and shares independent media makes a difference by keeping in touch with human expression in a society addicted to mass messaging and outrage.
- Steven / Resistance Rabbit
