Been there, friend. My first drink was at 15. Wasn't just a drink. I fell in love. I got drunk. Rum and Coke. Never got over it. Went to prison at 18. I learned to fight it. But I lost. A lot. Everything a few times. But I also won. You can't lose if you haven't won a little. I'm sober over 15 years today. Again. I had 14 years once. And fucking drank. Every now and then I'll have a bad dream, realizing in my dream that I've drank and lost EVERYTHING, AGAIN. Never really had a support network. Just not that kind of guy. We moved a lot when I was a kid and I never learned how to socialize. Still don't. So I still don't have a support network. I do have a good woman, which makes a world of difference. I don't go to meetings. I go to the gym. I'm am acutely aware of my World and how it disappoints me. And I know I'm on the short side of life. I often rant at the sky, chastising my Creator for the shit show it left me in, but I usually end with the short version of the Serenity Prayer. You probably know how it goes: "Fuck it".
Very very relatable. And yes I know that version of the serenity prayer too well. I’m glad you have found a connection that has made a world of difference to you. They say the opposite of addiction is connection. I think that’s very true.
Thanks, friend. Like I said, I really never learned to connect. Being a on again, off again drunk has not helped. Being sober makes a big difference as you know. Being older and mature helps. Not being around the atmosphere helps, too. It's not such a big struggle. I go to the gym, get pretty good workouts, and feel good. But I never forget. As you know, the most insane thing we ever do, we do it completely sober. And that is take that first drink. Sober. It's crazy. So, I don't walk on eggshells. I do keep my mind and thoughts under watch. Because I do still catch myself entertaining that lifestyle. But just for today, I know better. The monster is ever present. I just don't feed it or give it consideration. Hoping you stay the course. Life is so much better sober. Thanks for the writeup and reminder.
Been there, started about 10, we went to the local dance, in the hills, every Saturday night.
The women took sandwiches, and stayed inside, preparing them, The men sat in their cars, drinking, the music was a record player, with a broken spring, the local school teacher turned it by hand, thats what everyone danced to. We kids played outside, in the dark, with a purpose, when the men left a bottle of almost finished beer on the ground outside the car door , We got it and drank it,
I was drunk every saturday night, my parent had no idea, they were drunk too. I vomited on the way home every saturday night, and my mother put it down to car sickness, It only happened on the way home. I left home and abusive parents at thirteen and moved to a Capital city, got work and drank cheap white wine most nights, ending up in various institutions for alchohol recovery untill about mid twenties.
Watching those around me was a deterant, I knew I was looking something like that,,
I gradually eased off, with the oncomming of dope, which hadnt been around before, that helped to stop drinking. I'm 83 now, all of my friend who drank are dead, Dying from Cancer, thats what putting poison into your body every day for a lifetime will give you. The pot smokers are still alive, Stomach cancer is the popular one for drinkers.
I'm not looking foward to giving up dope, that helps me relax and think clearly. and isn't carcinogenic, as far as can see. We do need something at the end of the day , and at my age I cant see why not ?
I'm not opposed to the odd line, cant see the point in acid any more, or mushrooms, just a touch maybe ? two or three times a year. lauriemillerjade.com
Bless you, Darlin'. If you've made it this far by God I believe it's okay to have a little something to ease your aches and pains. I hope you have someone in your life to share your wisdom with. These youngsters need it. Wishing you all the best.
Sounds like you really went through it too. It’s interesting the stories those around us tell themselves to not see or not ask what’s happening. I’m glad things are much more stable now. I relate to what you’ve shared here too, thank you.
Been there, friend. My first drink was at 15. Wasn't just a drink. I fell in love. I got drunk. Rum and Coke. Never got over it. Went to prison at 18. I learned to fight it. But I lost. A lot. Everything a few times. But I also won. You can't lose if you haven't won a little. I'm sober over 15 years today. Again. I had 14 years once. And fucking drank. Every now and then I'll have a bad dream, realizing in my dream that I've drank and lost EVERYTHING, AGAIN. Never really had a support network. Just not that kind of guy. We moved a lot when I was a kid and I never learned how to socialize. Still don't. So I still don't have a support network. I do have a good woman, which makes a world of difference. I don't go to meetings. I go to the gym. I'm am acutely aware of my World and how it disappoints me. And I know I'm on the short side of life. I often rant at the sky, chastising my Creator for the shit show it left me in, but I usually end with the short version of the Serenity Prayer. You probably know how it goes: "Fuck it".
Very very relatable. And yes I know that version of the serenity prayer too well. I’m glad you have found a connection that has made a world of difference to you. They say the opposite of addiction is connection. I think that’s very true.
Thanks, friend. Like I said, I really never learned to connect. Being a on again, off again drunk has not helped. Being sober makes a big difference as you know. Being older and mature helps. Not being around the atmosphere helps, too. It's not such a big struggle. I go to the gym, get pretty good workouts, and feel good. But I never forget. As you know, the most insane thing we ever do, we do it completely sober. And that is take that first drink. Sober. It's crazy. So, I don't walk on eggshells. I do keep my mind and thoughts under watch. Because I do still catch myself entertaining that lifestyle. But just for today, I know better. The monster is ever present. I just don't feed it or give it consideration. Hoping you stay the course. Life is so much better sober. Thanks for the writeup and reminder.
Good work !
Thank you Mike!
Been there, started about 10, we went to the local dance, in the hills, every Saturday night.
The women took sandwiches, and stayed inside, preparing them, The men sat in their cars, drinking, the music was a record player, with a broken spring, the local school teacher turned it by hand, thats what everyone danced to. We kids played outside, in the dark, with a purpose, when the men left a bottle of almost finished beer on the ground outside the car door , We got it and drank it,
I was drunk every saturday night, my parent had no idea, they were drunk too. I vomited on the way home every saturday night, and my mother put it down to car sickness, It only happened on the way home. I left home and abusive parents at thirteen and moved to a Capital city, got work and drank cheap white wine most nights, ending up in various institutions for alchohol recovery untill about mid twenties.
Watching those around me was a deterant, I knew I was looking something like that,,
I gradually eased off, with the oncomming of dope, which hadnt been around before, that helped to stop drinking. I'm 83 now, all of my friend who drank are dead, Dying from Cancer, thats what putting poison into your body every day for a lifetime will give you. The pot smokers are still alive, Stomach cancer is the popular one for drinkers.
I'm not looking foward to giving up dope, that helps me relax and think clearly. and isn't carcinogenic, as far as can see. We do need something at the end of the day , and at my age I cant see why not ?
I'm not opposed to the odd line, cant see the point in acid any more, or mushrooms, just a touch maybe ? two or three times a year. lauriemillerjade.com
Bless you, Darlin'. If you've made it this far by God I believe it's okay to have a little something to ease your aches and pains. I hope you have someone in your life to share your wisdom with. These youngsters need it. Wishing you all the best.
Sounds like you really went through it too. It’s interesting the stories those around us tell themselves to not see or not ask what’s happening. I’m glad things are much more stable now. I relate to what you’ve shared here too, thank you.
Wish I could triple heart this beautifully written post
Thank you. I am happy it resonated with you.